Moving On…

I know I know…

It’s been almost two months since I last put anything up here. I’m terrible but I’ll try to be better.

Just a few days ago, I hosted my last show on Cool FM. My time belt was scrapped to cut costs, but staff from other departments were also affected in this latest downsizing session. I’m not really sad about the situation, though, and I definitely didn’t cry. I’m just thinking forward. I guess it’s time to move on.

I’ll focus on my photography and other interests right now. Maybe I’ll get another radio job later. I still love radio, after all.

#Jobs #Downsizing #MovingOn

‘Daymare’ of the month

Okay! So I’ve been away for ages, and in that time, I got a job at one of the best radio stations in Nigeria.  I work overnight 6 days a week, from 1am to 5 am, and my show, The Overnight Lounge, has such a crazy variety of callers. It’s a stressful job, but it’s fun.

Now, I don’t leave the station as soon as I end my shift. I wait for at least a hint of daylight. And this morning,  I had such a terrible experience with the cab I got to take me home, that it inspired me to write.

I stood a bit away from the cab, negotiated the fare, then hopped in. And I was immediately hit by the worst stink. God!! It was terrible.  Horrible. Devastating!  It smelled like someone rubbed Eau de Dead Rats on already stinky feet. I gagged and practically stuck my head out the window .

I started taking very shallow breaths. I didn’t know if I should tell him to just stop the cab and let me out. I decided to just stick it through. Now, picture this… I close from work at 5am and usually have to struggle to stay awake in taxis on my way home, because of the speed and the wind in my face, but today, I was wide awake. Freakin’ wide awake. 

My chest started to constrict and hurt from that stink. I looked down at the pedals and saw he was driving with his bare feet. I was almost in a state of panic. God in heaven!  How can he stand the smell of himself????

Anyway,  I got home and paid him. And then, he asked me ‘you get 500 naira’? *insert pause* The horror! His mouth was almost as bad as his feet!  Help me, someone. I feel defiled! LOL. I’ve been at home for almost an hour now, and I’m still trying to recover.

I swear, some people should be branded health hazards. And they should be kept off the roads. * scrunches nose*

State of Affairs

I feel like I’m encased in concrete. This isn’t writer’s block. It’s an all-round block. I can’t seem to think clearly. I can’t write. I can’t imagine. It feels like I’m walking around, smiling when I can, but weeping in my mind. And it feels like hell.

I’ve lost my mojo. That wellspring of creativity has dried up. I can’t even remember the last time I was simply happy- no buts. Unfortunately,  I got a job that requires me to have energy and creativity. It’s sad that all I have is a very,very bad case of ennui and listlessness.

I don’t remember ever having it this bad,and I don’t know what to do. I’ve considered quitting too many times in just two weeks.  For now,my mind is still able to reply ‘naaah’, but I don’t know how long that will last.

It’s been months. I’ve been depressed, not-so-depressed, sad with bursts of happiness,  and extra-thoughtful. I can’t stand being in this state much longer. Luckily, I’m too vain to be suicidal, but I desperately need to get out of this deep, deep rut.

Feels like quicksand. That’s the state of affairs.

IT’S NOT EASY BEING ME: BROKE-ASS

I’ve been broke. Horribly broke. Terribly broke. I’ve been so broke that N100 is ‘big money’ to me. And How I hate being broke!

I decided to ‘ínvest’ my money in beads and wire (yeah. I make beaded jewelry when the spirit is upon me) and I’ve been broke ever since. Do you know what it means to walk into a supermarket with your little sister and then, when it’s time to pay, the salesperson has to overhear you telling her to ‘pay for me na. I will give you the money later’. Kai! And trust my sister. When I did that, she asked me ‘how much are you owing me now sef’ (and not so quietly). Hmm… on her own. I did not care o. After all, it wasn’t as if there was any fine guy in the shop.It was only those ‘bebi gul’ type of Ibo boys. Mtchewww…

I’ve borrowed money from ALL my sisters. It’s just a shame. I can bet with my life that the only reason they put up with it is that they know I always pay up as soon as I’m ‘rich’ again. And I believe I will be rich soon o. This situation cannot go on for much longer, or I will start looking for sugar daddies (just kidding. Too proud for that).

Do you know what happened some days ago? I went to my sister’s room, and I saw something on her table. I picked it up to look at it, and those my village witches showed themselves. The new Sleek Eyeshadow palette slipped out of my hands. Ah! I started screaming like a market woman whose baby just got kidnapped in front of her korokoro eyes. ‘Jesus! Jesus! Oh no! I’m so sorry! Shit!’

I almost started crying o.Yes! At my age! Abi how e take consain you? And sista mi….what did she do? She just sat on her bed quietly for a while, then after I regained enough composure to pick up the eyeshadow and extract it from its packet to inspect it, she simply asked ‘is it broken?’ It wasn’t! I was so happy when I told her that. And she quietly stated, as a simple fact- ‘you’re very lucky. You would have bought a new one for me’.Yee! I just turned and looked at her with my mouth open. God in heaven knows ehn, I would have had to sell myself into slavery to be able to get that N2,000 that the eyeshadow cost.

I’ve been living a very careful life since o. I can’t afford to spoil or break anything accidentally. There is nothing like ‘chicken change’ in my dictionary for now. In fact sef, who needs a moderately beaurriful girl to run errands? How about to cook? as a Calabar girl…..I can do it (COOK!) Anything legal for money o.

I know say e go better sha. Anyway, all these boys that have been telling me they love me. Come and pay for my modem o. I need internet access. I have to buy clothes.And make-up. And things to preserve my naturally fresh skin. And shoes. And Swarovski crystals 😀
Yes ke! As a fine girl…..
XXX

Of Colds, Sore throats, and Aches

Yes,I’m ill again. And just when I’d finally started believing I’d become invincible (apart from my super migraines).

I woke up yesterday with a tickle in my nose. After using loads of moisturizer and hair spray to try to get my hair to stay down obediently, that tickle turned to sneezing. And not just sneezing, I tell you. When I start, I’m quite capable of sneezing myself to weakness.

Anyway, I was to be usher/DJ at my aunt’s book and albums (2 at once) launch. I did my job happily, even though I had the headache that had started on saturday night, and woken up with me yesterday, reminding me of its presence. It got worse, and then my entire body joined in (solidarity,abi).

By the time the event was over and we went home,my body was screaming in pain. My doctor dad had to go out and get me something from a pharmacy. I even cried while attempting to peel an orange. Don’t raise that brow! It hurt that bad. And did I tell you I’d developed a sore throat somewhere along the way?

Today, the bad sore throat of last night transmogrified into a voice-thief. My voice is nothing but a whisper. Swallowing is hell. I even started wondering if I’ll have to start being fed through tubes :O .Boyfie said I sound cute. Yni said I sound dead. But then I found this poem and I totally agree with the writer .

I can’t believe I’d planned to go to work today. What would have happened to my nose??? The studio can get so freakin’ cold! I work(for free.It’s just for the experience) at a radio station. Duh! I can’t wait to get better. And I have a great desire to be pampered. Any offers?